Decreasing Stress

Something I'm currently working on is my anxiety and stress on a meditative level.  I guess when you've had a life like mine, things can go a little wonky physically.  I have a friend that I grew up with (age 17-25) and we were talking the other day,  and she is going through the same issues.  We were just talking about how hard it is to explain our pasts.  When we talk to Dr.'s, the same questions always comes up:  "have you ever had a traumatic experience?"  We both always laugh... because we could each write a whole book (or two) to cover our traumas in life... seriously. 

How do you explain to the average person what it was like to live your life?  It takes a long time... plus once I start, I'm always interrupted to get more info on one or two events that end up taking all the time of the appointment and we never even really get started.  Luckily for me, my life has really mellowed out since I was 28 ~ so all I really need to "deal" with are past issues.

One thing that happens when you live with high-constant stress, is that your adrenal glands just don't know when to quit.  I feel like I'm excited/nervous/anxious ALL the time... and sometimes it can send me into a panic or anxiety attack.  For those who know, they are NOT fun at all!  The frustrating part of this is that my life is not that stressful anymore... so you would think my adrenals would get the hint!

To combat this my ND has started me on amino acids to help replenish neurotransmitters, and she started me on a hormone therapy that has two end purposes: 1) to re-balance my hormone levels...  my estrogen levels are high and my cortisol levels are off the chart; and 2) to lose a little weight to help the edema in my feet... and for me to feel better.  I'm also walking and doing yoga on a daily basis.

Because my ND is guiding me through the process, I feel it's safe.  BUT... I'm a little skeptical of the purported results. Part of the protocol is an extremely restricted diet.  I'm just eating fruit, veggies, and lean chicken/fish/beef.  Not only that... but no starchy veggies/fruits and absolutely no extra fat.  Needless to say, it's hard!  And this weekend we have 4 gatherings to attend... all with food involved.  I'm not sure how I'll do... I have will power ~ but this might be tough!

I'm thinking I may take my box of hexagons with me to sew while I'm out... or at least when I'm wanting to eat stuff ~ I can find a corner and lose myself in the sewing.  Or so I hope!

Luckily for me, I only have to eat this way for about 2 months, then I can go back to my usual restrictions:  gluten, starch, sugar.  AND... I should be feeling MUCH better on a day to day basis which has been my goal since 2000 when I had my gall bladder removed ~ it's been a long journey with many ups and downs.  I have been feeling better, but there are a few symptoms that just won't go away.  So... I'm hoping this will trigger better health. 

In the meantime, I'm pretty much avoiding the kitchen, so no new recipes from me anytime soon... but I'll probably get a buttload of sewing done! 

Stop To Smell The Roses

This past weekend my in-laws came to visit from New York City, and we really had a great time with them!  Sometimes family visits can be extremely stressful, but not with them ~ and I'm SO thankful!  We took them to the Rose Garden, and the roses were gorgeous... this one smelled like candy.  The next day we went to the Alberta Street Fair and had a great time walking around and seeing the sights.

It was really nice to take a little time off too.  It seems when you work for yourself and you work at home, work can become tedious and habitual... and we never usually take a day completely OFF.  So it was great to have 2 full days with absolutely NO thought of work at all ~ totally wonderful!! 

I'm still working on my squid quilt... I have almost 800 hexagons finished and only have about 300 or so to go!  In the meantime, I'm thinking of making a couple handbags.  We are going to have a booth at the Belmont Street Fair (for our T-shirts) but I may have enough room to bring some pillows that I've made ~ and I'm thinking if I make some bags, they might be more useful and popular than a pillow cover.  I always make my own patterns as I go, so we'll see if I can make something decent or not.  I'm lucky to have found a bunch of nice fabric at a garage sale, so I have plenty of fodder to work with.

The Belmont Street Fair is only about 2 weeks away... so I have LOTS to do before then ~ but I'll keep posting my progress!
**Update**  I was just about to post this when I found out we will be having our Phantom Chicken Booth in the parking lot of the Red Square Cafe at 45th and Belmont!!  Close to home and out of the big pile of booths down by 34th.  We may not have as many people walk by, but it will be much less stressful ~ and low stress is my main goal with everything these days. 

Staying On Task

When I'm working on big projects, I will either obsess and work on it until it's done - ignoring everything... or I'll lose interest in the project and not finish at all.  Something I've been working on is starting projects and following through while keeping life on a normal schedule.   The squid quilt is  going to be one of those projects.  Luckily I can make the little hexagons anywhere, and they are starting to add up!

Even with a busy summer work-wise,  I think I'm close to having half of all the blues made, and I have a good chunk of peachy colors done for the squid itself.  I'm looking forward to having them all made so I can lay them out and start playing with color and placement.  They are like fun game pieces or something... for now, I just need to keep making these little guys. 

I had a great doctors visit this week too ~ seems my triglycerides went WAY down, fasting blood sugar when down, vitamin B levels are back to normal, iron levels went up, and my candida count went from 4+ to 2!  So my diet is definitely making a difference, at least in some aspects, and that makes me feel really good!!  There are a few other issues we'll be working on and testing...  but for now, what I am doing is making things better instead of worse ~ and that's enough to make me feel good.

So I will continue with the food journey and continue avoiding gluten, while staying on task with my sewing project... and keep up with work!  Speaking of which, I have a huge pile of accounting to do... better get to it ~

Working On Health

I've been working on my health pretty intensively this last year.   I've never felt really great, in fact... most of my childhood is clouded with nausea, head and tummy aches.  In 2000 I had my gall bladder removed and since then I've made a bunch of lifestyle changes trying to feel better.  Last year I was diagnosed with IBS and gluten intolerance by a ND and I've been avoiding gluten since.

While I DO feel somewhat better, there are things that just seem to never change, and I'm in a frustrated funk these days.  Most notably, my energy levels are plummeting, and I don't know why.  This last week or so I've been feeling like I'm in a bowl of pea soup and can't hardly move without great effort.  Even my daily walks are getting harder, and more painful.   I'm seeing my ND tomorrow, so we can discuss this... but I've been seeing ND's often for over a year now and not much has helped.  They keep saying it takes time to heal, and I'm trying to be patient.  It's just so frustrating to work so hard and drastically change your diet and lifestyle and still not have much improvement... 

I've been having other symptoms too ~ like the pigment of my skin is getting blotchy, my ears are ringing constantly, my back is tremendously achy, my joints are sore, I'm just plain tired all the time, my heart races sometimes, my tongue is swollen, my throat muscles are tight and prickly, I have bad acne, I gain weight regularly, I'm constipated, my eyesight is getting worse, and I have bouts of dizziness that I can't explain.   None of this is life-threatening, so I'm usually brushed aside by doctors for people with "real" illnesses... or so it seems. 

All right, so I have gotten better in some regards too:  I'm not nauseas all the time, or dizzy all the time.  My headaches have decreased in intensity and I'm waking up feeling much better than in the past.  While these are great milestones, I feel I have so much more to work on... and I don't know how to work on it.  If I could "give up" I probably would, but at this point that would mean more feeling crappy and less feeling good.  I just hope that what I'm doing will finally make a difference and I can wake up feeling good and stay feeling good all day.  Wish me luck!
 

What A Week!

I have been so busy this week that I haven't spent much time sewing... but I did get in some time to make a bunch of hexies for my newest quilt project: 

It's eventually going to be a squid in water!  These are some of the "water" hexies.  They are 3/4" big, and my first big hexagon quilt in general.  I figure it will take me about a month to make all the pieces, depending on how much time I can spend on it... and how my hands hold up.

Speaking of aquatic life, my daughter was in town this week and today we all went to the fish store and bought some new tetras and 2 plecos for our fish tank, and had a fantastic lunch at Ya Hala before she had to get on the train to go home.  We had a lot of fun this whole week while she was here.  Since she moved to Seattle last year, I find I really miss her energy in the house and really look forward to her short visits.  This is also part of the reason I did not have much time to sew... but I'm not complaining!